Chris Barrie's Motoring Wheel Nuts Oct 30, 1995

Who has the shiniest bumpers in Frogmorton? Why do some people require a vehicle that looks like it was designed for rounding up wild animals in Colorado in order to drive 300 yards to the solarium? Is it possible to perform satisfactory sex in the back seat of a Volkswagen Beetle without the aid of a workshop manual? If you yearn for the answers to these and other burning motoring questions, as well as the chance to drool over some of the world's most stunning classic automobiles and exotic modern supercars, then why not let Sir Marmaduke Lovetuesday - heir to a great British tradition of drunkenness, greed and incompetence - take you on a guided tour of the Surley Manor Automotive Gala... a tale of sin, sex and soiled spark plugs!